'He needs to sit down and learn some stuff': New mom shuts down entitled husband who thinks the gym will magically erase postpartum weight

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Mar 22, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Whether you like going to the gym or not, you should never do it just to get validation from a partner. If they truly love you, your body shouldn't be a factor... especially when you just gave birth to THEIR baby. Postpartum recovery is no joke. Between sleep deprivation, healing, and the mental adjustment of becoming a mom, the last thing any woman needs is her husband making passive-aggressive comments about her body. I don't think he'd be so bold if he were the one that just carried a baby for nine months.

Just weeks after giving birth, this woman's husband started hinting that she should "tighten up" and "try harder" at losing weight (ew), as if she wasn't already doing everything in her power to take care of herself and their newborn. He just "assumed" that hitting the gym would make the extra weight magically disappear. Reality check: it doesn't work like that. This new mom wasn't about to put up with it, so she shut him down fast with a quick lesson in biology. 

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  • "AITAH for telling my husband that you don’t lose weight magically after going to the gym?"

    My husband (m33) and I (f24) have been married two years, and we have a 16 week old daughter. Prior to my pregnancy, I was active but not as active as my husband. He is big into fitness and stuff and I really am not, I just worked out because dr told me too lol. I only ran my
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  • maybe twice a week and had a Pilates class every Sunday. I weighed 120 lbs before pregnancy. During pregnancy I gained 40, lost 20 right off the bat after having my daughter (which my dr said it normal through my
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  • baby herself, fluid, placenta all that), and I have been working on losing the last 20. While my body looks different I don't really care as I am just glad my baby is so healthy and perfect. However my husband.
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  • started mentioning my weight at 2 weeks post partum, literally. He would say it and frame it in a way that was a "compliment" but it wasn't. "Oh you look so good, you look like a mommy now." Or "I wouldn't guess it was a whole 20 lbs, maybe just 10 or so."
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  • I just rolled my eyes and told him to stop, honestly I didn't care. Those comments happened maybe twice a week so it was easy to forget. My dr told me to wait 12 weeks before returning to strenuous
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  • exercise, so I did. But the moment I hit 12 weeks my husband was asking me to come to the gym with him, literally all the time. He was badgering me almost. I did it to make him happy and he certainly was happy. I will admit it felt good to
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  • have some time to myself, and I didn't mind going at all. But now it's been another 4 weeks since then and I haven't lost any weight but like 2.5 lbs. My husband seems to think this is because I "snack" too much and he told me that. I told him I
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  • have to, I am breastfeeding. So that started an argument. He told me that I should go back to Pilates to "tighten" my tummy again. I told him I'd rather di than do that right now tbh. He told me "fine then at least try
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  • harder". I told him I am trying my absolute hardest and "you don't just magically lose weight in the gym." He whole heartedly disagrees with that and went on a tangent about how he loves me and my body for carrying our baby, but
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  • he wants me to still take care of myself for my health. Whatever. I mean I get that sentiment, a lot of my post partum appointments centered around my health as well but it more things like recovering, sleeping and eating enough. Not working out. So AITAH here?
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  • Boy, did the comment section have something to say about this…

  • Away-Elephant-4323 NTA it takes time to lose, gain, or build muscle, if he works out all the time i would think he would have some knowledge on this! That it doesn't just happen overnight! take your time for you and only you not him!
    via Away-Elephant-4323
  • BeautifulParamedic55 Do you know that inside you have a wound the size of a dinner plate that takes 6 MONTHS to heal? Your hormones take 1-2 YEARS to settle down again, can be even longer if you are breastfeeding. Your body made a whole other body and some parts of you will literally never be able to be the same size or strength again. Your husband needs to sit down, learn some stuff and stop being such a pig.
    via BeautifulParamedic55
  • Recent_Data_305 You're going to carry about ten extra pounds of fat while breastfeeding. This is normal. NTA Your husband, however, is a major A H. There is no guarantee that your belly will be as flat as it was before. Your body has some permanent changes. I'm not sure he can handle that.
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  • Pink Spirit_Anml_386 I had a husband like that. For 24 years now he's been an ex because of his behavior towards our daughter and me.
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  • Gold star for this comment:

    Bluewaveempress He is red flags
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  • wavythewonderpony I haven't seen this mentioned yet, so I'll add that breastfeeding is a big deal. Your body will hold onto some excess weight to support the demands of lactation. Many women do lose some faster while nursing at first, but there's often a remainder of weight gain that lingers until you wean. As soon as you've finished nursing, your body will be more amenable to paring down the energy stores.
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  • So-Rainbow-Rhythms Your husband sounds disgusting and apparently only appreciates you on a superficial level. Make sure to tell him how a woman's body can take up to two years to heal after having a child, I imagine it would blow his tiny little mind.
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  • uhgirlnamedzeke This doesn't feel concerned about your health, this feels shallow and ignorant. NTA.
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  • Teeth_Of_The_Hydra97 You're not the AH, and as a fellow mom, I'm horrified that he thinks the body that gave him a child and is currently nourishing that child needs to be "tighter" just a few months out from a pregnancy.
    via Teeth_Of_The_Hydra97

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marriage baby drama gym kids wife petty revenge relationships husband entitled people karma pregnant entitled people
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